I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Oh god it's open bar.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
