I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
