I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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