I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
