Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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