Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
