im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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