before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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