I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
