I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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