This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
