My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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