from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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