btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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