i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
