it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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