just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
