he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
