ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
