We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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