I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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