I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
