I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
