im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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