Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
