Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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