i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
