so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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