i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize