My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
