I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
