I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
