yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
