normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
this hospital has no fireball
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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