You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
FUCK WHALES
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
