Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
