I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
