Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize