I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
