Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
