come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
