would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
