**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
