He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
