im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
