Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
