if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
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i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
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You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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