He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
