There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
