problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
