The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
