2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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