Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
