It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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