do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
