You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
