Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
