my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So here I am, sexting at work.
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